For the past year or so, my son and I have been writing to a baseball player we met two years ago. Now “writing” means, usually, that I write a letter updating him on what’s going on with us [such as son’s baseball or what sport he’s into now] and then we include a SASE and a questionnaire. Sometimes the questions are basic - “I found Cleveland to be a) great, b) interesting, c) a great place to leave” - and sometimes a bit funny - “If I could exchange places with a cartoon character, I’d be …”

We got the opportunity to see the player a few days ago when he was down on a rehab assignment. With a slight gleam in his eye, the player commented to me, “You know, I can tell when the questions are from you opposed to your son.” I blushed a bit [drat, caught!] and he added, “Your questions are ones like my Mom would ask - are you playing nice with everyone, how’s the weather - but your son’s questions are ones that my little brother would ask, so I give those more attention because I know he’s really curious.”

That got me thinking … when it comes to journaling there is a lot of stress on “voice” - who’s telling the story and what story do you want to tell. As a former technical writer, I usually regard “voice” as being the tense - first [I, we], second [you], or third [he, she, it, they]. I’ve thought about word choice too, such as when writing a conversation verbatim [”Mum, I don’t say ‘drinky’ any more - that’s not the correct word. Since you’re older than me, say ‘thirsty’ too, okay, please?”] or when trying to recall what was used in a situation [”Did he call it ‘roller hockey’ or was it ‘playing hockey not on the ice but with skates’?”].

One can capture a conversation, such as the examples above, but do they capture the passion or intensity the person feels about the subject? I can write that my son’s “obsessed” with sports, that he practically taught himself geography based upon colleges and their mascots, and that, if money weren’t an object, we’d go to every minor league baseball stadium so he could watch a game. I can write down the words, but they don’t capture the passion my son feels about sports.

Maybe that’s what make good writers good - they can capture that emotion, the oomph, the feelings with their words. Their words make you feel something and do more than “just” describing what happened. Something for me to think about - in addition to capturing my son’s “voice” I also need to capture his “passion” and “intensity” … if anyone’s got some page examples on this, I’d love to see them. Post a comment and let me know.

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